Little Things in Day-to-Day life......

Little satisfaction in day-to-day life:

1. Reaching the railway station, and finding a SLOW train in the next 2 minutes.
2. Raching the railway station and finding a FAST train in the next 5 minutes.
3. Reaching the station and finding a friend you have been longing to meet and being happy that there is no train leaving the station in the next 10 minutes, so that even the friend cannot leave.
4. Leaving for the station and finding a collegeaue in the elevator to accompany you to the station.
5. Leaving for the station and leaving early :)
6. Asking the rick or cab to take you office from station/station to home and he says a "Yes" in the first few attempts.
7. Coming home and not finding the usual pathetic Mumbai traffic.
8. Coming home in the rick and the rick driver has an urgent work and he drives outstandingly fast but in good control.
9.Coming home in pathetic traffic condition and on the way chatting/talking to friends/relatives.
10.Remembering a friend's birthday I am not in touch with, and wishing her.
11.Going to office and the boss is late.
12.Willing to come home early, and the boss leaves earlier than that.
13.Switching on the FM and finding the recent favourite song being played on it.
14.Getting up and finding a message from an old friend.
15.Receiving unexpected calls on an important ocassions.
16.Just being able to get into the office bus in the morning.
17.Finding my friend and myself being able to manage time to get into the bus at 9:30 am and enjoy that morning half an hour company (cribbing/appreciating boss/work).
18.Preparing some letter and not getting any re-work on it.
19.A nice piece of laughter admist a hectic and busy day with the colleagues around.
20.A call from friend whom I have been thinking of calling for sometime.
21.Preparing meal for others and self, and enjoying dining together.
22. Reaching the station and finding a SLOW train in the next 5 mins on Platform 3 so that I do not need to cross the bridge after reaching Ghatkopar.

And the list goes on....

These are little satisfaction in day-to-day life, which are part and parcel of work/office life.I am wondering the amount of happiness it brings to....leave office early, and get a company of a good friend back home!!!
Extremely delighted :):)

Rich or Poor or Simply Middle class!!!

I had gone to bed after a long day at office. After a similar discussion with a friend a while back, I started wondering why was I sleeping? Was it on account of the ritual that we should sleep every night to go to work in the morning? or Was I tired ? or some other reason? It had been a long day, but, not very tiring physically but I had exhasuted myself mentally with plenty of other thoughts in mind. And just wondering about why am I sleeping.... I could not sleep. So, had got up to finish up the Rich Dad, Poor Dad. which I am just 65 pages short of finishing it up

Just recalled the discussion I was having with a friend the other day. What parameters define one to be rich, poor, wealthy, or middle class? Having a lavish life-style, or owning a car does not show one is rich or wealthy. After a little perspective I got from the book, and with little of my understanding, I feel the conclusion is based on some mathematics and not exactly on the amount of money a person has or the no. of cars or his/her life-style. More often, I feel these words are mis-interpreted/mis-understood by people.

Wealthy as per this book shall be a temporary concept. So, is being broke. If one can maintain the same life-style for x no. of days from their savings and wiith no other source of income, then the person is addressed as wealthy for that period of time. It does not define what "rich" means.

Can one remain rich forever? is the question I had posted to a friend of mine. My friend defined "rich" as the ability to be wealthy for the entire life. Being a CA, and almost a CFA, by his number crunching skills, he made the calculations as: Lets say, I would stay alive for another 40 years (though too long as per life expectancy in India), and I maintain a particular standard of living, and my savings are sufficient to meet those standards for 40 years, then I am rich, whether or not I can afford an expensive car (the ones we see in the parking lot in Maker Tower during lunch hours :P). I asked him what would happen after he is married, he has kids..how can he freeze his standard of living or make computations with varying standards of living? We had no answers.

Hand- to- mouth existence or no troubled existence means one is poor? When one cannot classify oneself in either of the two categories (rich or poor), then they call themselves middle class (inspite of myself being part of middle class, it is a term which I genuinely hate).

Really complicated terminology(ies)!

A busy Saturday!

Had a real bad week and loads of work which I have been deferring. Had decided to wind-up most of it on Saturday. I had got myself involved quite a bit, until it was almost 5:30 pm-a full day. I had been quite reserved during lunch hours and my bad mood was so evident. Thanks to my office friends, who deferred their pending personal work to take time out for a movie just to cheer me up. But, almost in vain. :(

We watched the movie-Ajab..Kajab...and a thought which I had been trying to restrain came back to me, and with even wilder imagination. Katrina had asked Ranbir to define how much he loved/liked her.... and I wonder, if there is any unit which can be used to define and compare feeling--in kgs, joules, kms, kcal/kg, litres.....

A useless story-line, and slapstick comedy which I find hard to laugh at. (May be, my little bro would enjoy it). My friends liked the comedy, and infact, one of them felt that he had laughed so much last when he had seen Golmal. May be, the intent behind watching the movie was to keep myself occupied, and the concentration was missing. The second part was still better because I was making efforts to enjoy the movie and laugh as the silly things. No favourite songs from the movie or may be, too early to say (I am yet to listen to them on FM). A usual predictable Hindi movie with a happy ending!

Reached home after 10:30 pm and prepared dinner, and its time to relax a bit.

Believe in Self!

I came across this nice quote from the book-"How to get from where you are to Where you want to be" by Jack Canfield-

" You were not an accident. You were not mass produced. You are not an assembly-line production. You were deliberately planned, specifically gifted and lovingly positioned on the Earth by the Master Craftsman"-Max Lucado
Well said!

Positives of Negative Thinking :P

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20091102/lf_nm_life/us_mood_memory
Source: Reuters

Honesty is the worst policy!

Why have we been taught -" Honesty is the best policy" phrase in kindergarden school without even explaining the meaning of the word "Honesty"? Wiki defines Honesty as speaking the truth and creating trust in the mind of the others. And for the word "truth", there is no clear cut defintion. Infact, there are several theories on it, which I would wish to read sometime at leisure.I remember, during the GDPI training session also, we were asked to rate ourselves on a scale of 1-10 on honesty, and our trainer had the logic that it has to be either 0 or 10. I did not even question his logic then. :(

I had always believed that - "Saying I trust you would always be a better compliment than saying I love you". I have realised that saying truth (stating the exact facts) is not the best policy (be it ur parents, siblings, boss, collegueas, friends), because I have faced its repercussions as well. I wonder, saying which form of truth is best policy? ?

But,(un)fortunately so, I remember nobody telling me- "I do not trust you!"

Random Thoughts

In our everyday life, we meet many people. Each one unique in most respects. I have always found myself little unacceptable to people in general, and get annoyed with their behaviour (finding it to be little weird, illogical,etc). I have always heard that when we keep meeting such people, we become more and more acceptable to them.

I was a little surprised when something similar happened the other day.

• In our organisation, we have a general trend of working in teams, atleast 2-3 people on a project. Since, I am quite new to the place, and had worked alone on my first project for almost 5 months, each of the team mates are new to me (in their work behaviour, atleast!). The other time, when this collegeaue had left the papers unfiled on my desk, I was extremely annoyed. This time, my desk was in a worse condition than the earlier instance. And when I reached offfice in the morning, my desk was all messed up and I knew who it was! Suprisingly, I was not annoyed this time. I just smiled.

I am still wondering what could be the reason for this? May be, I figured out the reason behind this behaviour of his (unacceptable, as I call it), and I did not get annoyed anymore.

• A similar instance happened when I was travelling in the locals with my friend, and someone just rushed in front of us, hurting slightly on my shoulder with his bag. I had the usual annoyed look. I watched him run even faster till he got on to the train. I told my friend that we are always so wrong in getting annoyed at such similar behaviour. He could have got something really important, and getting on to this train could have been really essential for him. Thinking about all this, the annoyance vanished.

Probably, I have always been too opinionated about people. May be, too early to judge them.

And as my friend and I reiterate after every such discussion to remind us not to forms opinions about people without complete information, we end up saying:

" IF WE JUDGE PEOPLE, WE HAVE NO TIME TO LOVE THEM". So true.

A DATE WITH SELF!

I thoroughly enjoyed a luxurious, five hours reading on a wet Sunday morning with a hot mug of coffee. Just finished reading the book “Married but Available” by Abhijit Bhaduri, the second book of M-B-A series.

It is a story of a Bengali guy who has just passed out from a business school, and narrates his life after his campus placement, and the challenges he faces in his personal and professional life. What I like most about the book is the “aam aadmi” lifestyle, it deals with. A family of four, with parents, and the two siblings including a young sister, and the son has to sustain his family, meets the challenges in his short married life and frustrations of the HR job early in his career.
Some ideas, pick-up lines, beliefs, and perspective brought out in the book and enumerated below gave me good material to ponder on.

• On a professional front, something which I have also realized in my six months old job- “Importance of designations". It is evident that designations have no standardization in the industry, and hence the conflict. It is the business card that becomes ones identity in a work-life. Personally, when I get a call from banks offering visiting cards, the first question that pops up-“Mam, what is your designation in the Company?” I merely end up saying-“I am just six months old here, and I seriously, do not need a credit card.” Apart from this, when I go for meeting with a Manager or a Vice-President, I find it fruitless to even share my visiting card. Not that I find myself any inferior to my boss, but, evidently, the receiver would not be acknowledge much. However, the book talks about the lead character, Abbey’s dilemma with his inferior designation compared to his working girl friend, and later his wife, and those of his other friends from the same business school, who have climbed to better designations. Quite mundane, but relevant.


• “Why are people paid so lowly at the start of their career, when, it is at this time that they need the money the most-to buy a car, a house, or sustain a family? Later in life, at the time of retirement, it is more of cholesterol monitoring that happens. Truly, life is unfair!


• Problems can never be solved. They can only be resolved, dissolved or absolved! I am still not clear with its meaning.


• Think yourself as actors in a play. Your lines are important, but what is more important is that the play is successful.


• Life a beach or a bitch? As a friend believes, we should not live our lives in extremes. Life is not mere black or white, it moves in shades of grey!


• The power equations keep changing. So, be nice to people on your way.


• Life has no time for sentiments. Atleast, holds for the work-life and to a certain extent in personal life too.


• “Nihil Ultra” or nothing is beyond. And, as Bhagwat Gita says-Do your best and do not worry about the results.


• Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.


• In India, there is a separate definition for friends and colleagues. Friends can be colleagues, but colleagues can never be friends?


• In Life, we try to change the course of the river, we are sailing with. The river will not change its course. We can only row the boat through our actions. Life will go on, we have to flow with it.


• Importance of being non-judgmental about people. And, I am seriously working on it.


• The hardest thing is to fear the changing nature of relationships. Barter should not become the nature of relationships. And egos should never come its way!


• If we cannot change a situation, it means that life is challenging you to change ourselves.


• To be free from all fears, attachments and insecurities is the best way to discover one’s soul. And to remain detached is the hardest thing to do.


• One’s career will have its share of disappointments. We should ask ourselves, what we are disappointed with. Are we disappointed with ourselves, our abilities or with others? And if the latter is the answer, it means that we are taking our business cards too seriously. If we want success, we should think about ourselves. If we want happiness, we should think about others.


• “What matters is not what we expected from life, but what life expected from you?”

It is the story about the guilt Abbey goes through when as a HR professional, he had to device a VRS policy for laying-off thousands of employees as a cost cutting measure, including himself. Is it equally painful to lay-off than been laid off? As Narayan Murthy rightly said: "Love your job but never fall in love with your Company. Who knows when the Company stops loving you".

Jao Na!

Really like this song: Particularly the voice.

jao na…
jao na…
jao na…
jao na…

tum jo ho toh gaa rahi hai yeh hawa
tum jo ho toh reshmi si hai fiza
jao na…
jao na…
jao na…
jao na…

tum jo ho toh gaa rahi hai yeh hawa
tum jo ho toh reshmi si hai fiza
jao na… jao na
jao na… jao na
jao na… jao na
jao na… jao na

phir na yeh raat aayegi
phir na yeh rut chhayegi
phir na yun milna hoga
phir na jaane kya hoga
jao na… jao na
jao na… jao na
jao na… jao na
jao na… jao na

yeh raat thodi toh dhalne do
dheere dheere isko pighalne do
aage hai do raah maanaa magar
thodi door toh saath chalne do

yeh raat thodi toh dhalne do
dheere dheere isko pighalne do
aage hai do raah maanaa magar
thodi door toh saath chalne do

khone wali ho kal tum
ruk sako jo do pal tum
kuch tumhari tasveerein
rakh loon apni aankhon mein…
jao na… jao na
jao na… jao na
jao na… jao na
jao na… jao na

A Perfect BAD WEEK!

I had some real bad experiences this week. Series of altercations with a series of people, and most of whom, either I cannot show my attitude, or cannot afford to, because of professional reasons. Infact, I did not want to even justify myself.

But, keeping oneself occupied is the only way one can avoid brooding over such pathetic experiences, which is exactly what I wish to do.

It is at these times, when this city seems really alien to me, and wish that I should not have been here.

Almost made a loss on the my derivative market transaction, when my expectation on the Nifty did not materialize. The contract would be squared off on 24th of the this month, and I still hope markets to come down, which seems unlikely.

However, I had always heard that "Men carry plenty of egos and are emotionless", and such series of incidents have substantiated it. Its just "I" factor that is important for them. Even, my dermatologist, who has been married for almost more than 7 years was saying so, as per her experience of being a married working lady.

And even my boss told me to be little less sensitive. I wonder I could have explained him the entire series of incidents. But, then, he is another man, afterall! In a way, it is good that I just smiled and left it there, rather than explaining anything.

Even now, when I am writing and thinking about the past week, I would be almost in tears. But, such reading such bad experiences once in a while make one happier in better times.

Hoping for a nice (occupied) week!

Doorian... by Mohit chauhan

Seems I am becoming a fan of Mohit Chauhan's voice. This is another of my recent favourite songs by him from the movie "Love Aaj Kal", which I have heard over nearly 10 times now :) (after coming from office)

Yeh Doorian Aaann….

Yeh Doorian Aaann….

Yeh Doorian

In Raho Ki Doorian Nigahon Ki Doorian

Humraho Ki Doorian Fanna Ho Sabhi Doorian

Kyun Koi Paas Hai, Door Hai

Kyun Koi Jaane Na , Koi Yahan Pe

Aa Raha Paas Ya Door Mein

Ja Raha Janoo Na Mein Hu Kahan Pe

Yeh Doorian

In Raho Ki Doorian Nigahon Ki Doorian

Humraho Ki Doorian Fanna Ho Sabhi Doorian

Yeh Doorian Yeh Doorian

Yeh Doorian Aa….

Kabhi Huwa Yeh Bhi, Khali Rahon Pe Bhi

Tu Tha Mere Saath ,

Kabhi Tujhe Milke, Lauta Mere Dil

Yeh Khali Khali Haath

Yeh Bhi Huwa Kabhi, Jaise Huwa Abhi

Tujko Sabhi Mein Paa Liya

Tera Mujhe

Kar Jathi Hai Doorian Satathi Hai Doorian

Tarsathi Hai Doorian Fanna Ho Sabhi Doorian

Kaha Bhi Na Mein Ne, Nahin Jeena Mein Ne

Tu Jo Na Mila

Tujhe Bhule Se Bhi, Bola Na Mein Yeh Bhi

Chahu Fasala

Bas Fasala Rahe Banke Kasak Jo Kahe

Ho Aur Chahat Yeh Jawan

Teri Meri

Mit Jani Hai Doorian Begani Hai Doorian

Haat Jani Hai Doorian Fanna Ho Sabhi Doorian

Kyun Koi Paas Hai, Door Hai

Kyun Koi Jaane Na , Koi Yahan Pe

Aa Raha Paas Ya Door Mein

Ja Raha Janoo Na Mein Hu Kahan Pe

Yeh Doorian

In Raho Ki Doorian Nigahon Ki Doorian

Humraho Ki Doorian Fanna Ho Sabhi Doorian

I did a small test (alternately listening to them on youtube) to find out which one of the two songs-from Kaminey and Love Aaj kal, I like more...And I liked both :) Difficult to choose the better of the two.And one of my tasks for the next week is to get/cmpile a CD with the collection of best of songs sung by Mohit Chauhan.

MY RECENT FAVOURITE SONG!

“Pehli baar mohabbat ki hai, Aakhiri baar mohabbat ki hai” sung by Mohit Chauhan from the movie "Kaminey" is my recent favourite. It becomes real tempting to hear the song as it proceeds with the short piano piece.
The lyrcis goes as:
Thode bheege bheege se thode nam hain hum
Kal se soye huwe bhi to kam hain hum
Dil ne kaise harkat ki hai
Pehli baar mohabbat ki hai
Aakhri baar mohabbat ki hai
Aankhein doobi doobi si surmayee madham
Jheelein paani paani hai, bas tum aur hum
Baat badi hairat ki hai
Pehli baar mohabbat ki hai
Aakhiri baar mohabbat ki hai
Khwaab ke bhoj se
Kap kapati huwi
Halki palke teri
yaad aata hai sab
tujhe gud gudana
satana
yunhin sotey huwe
gaal pey teepna..meechna..
bewajah besabab
Yaad hai
peepal ke jiske ghane saaye the
humnein gilhari ke jhhootey matar khaaye they
yeh barqat un hazrat ki hai
Pehli baar mohabbat ki hai
Aakhri baar mohabbat ki hai..

ASSET-BASED MAT-A BANE?

MAT (Minimum Alternate Tax) was introduced in 1983 because of the replication of the zero-tax paying company's strategy of the US in India. Plenty of Companies in the USA with huge pre-tax profits did not pay any tax at all! They used to declare huge dividends and escaped contributing to the fiscal income of the country. This seemed irrational, and hence various forms of MAT (AMT in USA) were introduced in various countries including India, USA, Mexico, etc, which was widely appreciated.

In India, the history of MAT from "deemed total income" to "deemed tax" to the current proposed "asset based" tax is as follows:

· Introduction of section 80VVA in 1983 which laid down certain restrictions on aggregate amount of deduction allowed from the total income and was applicable for AY 1984-85 to 1987-88.

· Then, section 115J was introduced on 1st April 1988 under which if the total income was less than 30% of the book profits, the total income charged to profits was 30% of the book profits. This was in operation for AY 1988-89 to 1990-91.

· In 1991-92, with a view to rationalize the tax structure, and discontinuance of Investment incentives, MAT was phased out.

· After 6 years, MAT was introduced in AY 1997-98 under section 115 JA.

· In the next year, in 1998-99, section 115 JAA was introduced to give effect to tax credit scheme by which tax paid under MAT was allowed to be carried forward for set-off against regular tax paid in subsequent 5 years.

· In 2000, another section 115 JB was introduced. Rather than computing "deemed total income", the focus was on introducing "deemed tax" for the computation of minimum deemed tax. The provision for credit under section 115 JJA was discontinued. MAT @ 7.5% of book profits was levied including surcharge.

· In 2005, Tax credit was again allowed under MAT.

· In 2006-07, MAT was increased from 7.5% to 10%, and the credit period increased from 5 years to 7 years.

· In 2007-08, this 11.33% tax was applied to IT companies which so far, have been exempt. Also, it was extended to some exempted export incomes.

· Finally, the MAT was increased from 10% to 15%.

With a view to rationalize the tax structure, the new tax code 2009, applicable from April 2011, brings out a radical change in the computation of MAT. It now would be 2% of the Gross Assets (Net Fixed Assets plus all assets excluding negative balance of P/L Account). The similar rates for banks would be .5%.

This seems to be completely absurd, and is bad news for the highly capital intensive companies like infrastructure or manufacturing and even IT companies. Recently, my VP had asked to study the impact of the new guidelines on one the projects we had appraised, and to my surprise, this MAT (terminology-wise) is no more "minimum". Infact, the normal corporate tax was much lower than MAT. Given, this new provision, the question of taking higher of the two, I presume, should not apply. But, the guidelines propose the higher of the two, which again defeats the original intent behind the introduction of MAT.

The Govt calls it a revenue neutral proposal, which, to my understanding is not so. MAT would force companies to pay tax inspite of their inability to pay! Since assets and ones profitability is de-linked, there could be a case where the Company is forced to pay huge MAT inspite of no/-ve pre-tax profits. Further, even the provision of phasing out of credit provision is being proposed in the bill. Thus, loss making infrastructure behind would be required to pay MAT, inspite of their inability. So, it would emerge as a huge bane. However, there seems to be little possibility of it going through.

WHAT IS LOVE?

The post cannot give a foolproof definition of "Love" but can offer a perspective on it.

Recently, I read this book-"Road Less Travelled" by M. Scott Peck and gathered different insights on the concept of love, traditional values and spiritual growth. I have coupled it with my understanding of the reading and for the purpose of the post have focused on aspects of love and spiritual growth only.

The definition of love (as per the web definition by goggling) is a strong positive emotion of regard and affection. But, this seems to be real generic definition. As per my understanding, the definition could be unique, and very specific to the individual. It is not definitely difficult to arrive at the consensus on the definition, nor is that required.

In order to explore more on a possible definition, the writer has asked some questions (including some of my thoughts) as-Can we love two people at a time? How long does the feeling of love remain? Why do people end up breaking-up after being committed to each other for some time? Does the feeling of love requires two people to stay together or is love all about separateness? Is love about sacrifice for the good of the other person? Is it essential to marry the person you love? and the list goes on.

M Scott defines love as "The will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth". Spiritual growth would mean reaching close to God..in simple terms as I understand it, it would mean becoming a better person.

So, love is not emotional attachment or dependency as per him but more of volition (a genuine will/cognitive process where one decides and commits to some course of action). For him, "commitment" is the most important thing for genuine love and not romantic love (which is mere expression of one's love for the other person, and may be, stems from physical needs). It is impossible to understand the other person without making room for the other person within ourselves, so, commitment is a pre-requisite for the same.

Also, falling is love is not an act of love, but temporary collapse of our egos to merge his/her identity with the other person, and its sudden release is the cause of all damage. When individual realize that each of the individual's have different likes, dislikes, desires, and they are not one individual, then it becomes difficult for them to accept the same, and may be, the cause of most break-ups.

I have always wondered that this feeling of love (as I hear it) should be a short-term process and must be lost after some point of time, and which may be, in author's language be the instance of realization by the individuals of their separate identity after they regain from the collapsed egos. But, the fact of the matter is that if two people like each other (not just as an emotional attachment), and see themselves as better person, then this phenomenon is no more a short-term process. As far as the dependency is less, it should not result in any complexities. And overtime, making love could be an act of expression of one's love. But, any relationship of love that is out of mere physical attraction is bound to suffer because making love is not an act of love but mere lust, as per the author.

Moreover, he also points out that marrying the person one loves is just a decision by the two of them and should not be an obligation. The two people who love each other might end up marrying because they see one's spiritual growth by being together. He talks of the concept of "open marriage" which I find difficult to accept and have not delved much into it. It is also more of a societal issue. The society we have, does not propagate such acts and our mind-sets are also similar.

Answering as to why people in genuine love do not wish being open with disclosing their feelings to the other person, he says, that we are all resistant to change. We all want "status quo" and are not willing to accept more responsibilities and hence do not want to be true to ourselves. But, he talks of the power of being true to oneself, and reading our mind, thoughts, feeling and ideas. In this context, he talks of the importance of dreams/unconscious self, which should be explored. We have 5% of the mind as the conscious self and the rest is the unconscious one, and hence, we should take out time to understand our unconscious self (dreams), give importance to any weird thought that come to our mind.

We can be psychotherapists to self provided we are willing to accept changes.

PHIR MILENGE!

The other day I was late at office and had called up a meru to come back home

to Powai. It was 10:10 pm when I left office. As usual, the driver (his name was Md Khan, i guess) asked me which way should I take you from, and unusually so, I told him wherever there would be minimum traffic (My road sense is pathetic).

All of a sudden, some discussion started on the safety of Meru. Then he said that we have this small screen in the cab where the passenger's name is being flashed and till the time, the passenger would reach the destination, it would continue flashing. (I think it must be flashing till the time the billing is done.) So, as per him, the drivers cannot do things like misbehaving, or taking from a longer path, smoking, etc because the GPS keeps tracking them with a screen at the call centre.

When I asked about their business model and the salary he draws, he said that each one of them are assigned one cab, and at the start of the night (their works hours being 11 pm to 10 am), they deposit Rs 700/ day with Axis Bank with the company account. And out of the entire amount they bill on one night, Rs 900 (Rs 700 deposited plus Rs 200 on fuel) is deducted and the balance is their earning per day.

Seems that each Meru cab gives the Company a fixed income of Rs 700/day.

When asked as to how people get qualified for driving, he said that they have a training (the guy who gives them the training draws a salary of Rs 75k/month) and then a series of exams (i guess, 8 in number). They are taught the manners like saying "aap" to passengers, not driving too fast even when insisted, not cosuming alcohol or smoking etc.

I reached home by 11:22 pm, and then suprising he said-"Phir Milenge!" I remembered this somewhat similar phrase being said by SRK in Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi..."Phir Milenege, Chalte,Chalte.. and he seems to have been inspired by that.

Express Yourself!

Isn't expressing oneself an art?

So true is this quote-

"People often feel something but express something else.They mean something but say something else..So learn the art of saying nothing in such a way that it leaves nothing unsaid…"

I wonder what results in most misunderstandings? Is it by expressing oneself or one's inability to do so? And does the ability to express depends on the grip over language, mode of communication,inherent willingness to make the communication ambiguous or the fear within?

Many a times, inspite of the willingness to do something, we end up doing the contrary, we really do not mean certain things, and just say things out of irritation, and it results in mis-communication. At times, things turn out very differently than we have wanted it to. Does the grip over the language of communication that differentiates between the two people expressing themselves differently? Is the "power of words" so important?

Or is it the mode of communication which matters too. I have immense experience of miscommunications through text chats/online chats. But, have seen, time and time, the mis-communications that happen even over a face to face conversation.

Why is there is a difference in the ability to people to xpress themselves? What can be an ideal way to express oneself?

(So thoughful is Airtel's tagline- Express Yourself!)

Missing Home

I came across this nice poem on missing home..

"Our lives are so busy and sometimes we live so far from our families. We miss the relationships with our families and often we do not even share important life events with them. We need to move back towards our families. If not in actual distance then at least we must move closer in our hearts. We live in a time where there are unprecedented communication possibilities. No one will ever love us unconditionally like our family can. We'd be fools not to take advantage of this opportunity. "

Inspite of all the unprecendented communication possibilities, no form of communication can replace staying at home. No one can pamper you the way our parents, and siblings do.

Feeling really homesick today :(

WHAT NEXT!!

What next?

A good schooling, an average college, a decent post graduation college, and an amazing organisation.....and what next?

Ever since, we understand the meaning of the term-"Independence", the quest begins...right from school days, plenty of career counseling sessions, questions to know the why’s and how’s of courses, and career paths, pros and cons of getting into each of them...but the obvious answer- "WE SHOULD CHOOSE A CAREER PATH THAT INTERESTS US"....

I still remember attending that one work-shop on career counseling in school and that was it...It was more of an informatory session for me... In high school, it was difficult to even understand what kind of career would have interested me...Infact, choosing one out of the three--Commerce, Arts or Science was the still easy...and it has been a spontaneous career planning since then....and without any regrets.

Shifting from Science to Commerce by calling my teacher at 9 pm, or taking up the CFA course, or getting a form for CAT/XAT was as spontaneous...

Completing a post graduation course and finally landing up to this work-life. Most decisions in life are driven less by choices but more by circumstances, and lack of alternatives. The only choice one makes is just during those career counselling sessions.... :P (But, with limited knowledge....like an inky pinky ponky, father has a donkey.... kind of a thing)

Ofcourse, the only thing and the most important choice, is to decide what one wants out of life...what is it that would last..What is it that is a true motivator….what is it that would not wear out…and it goes on….And the career counseling courses should exactly be focussed in pondering over these questions.

After completing post-graduation, it was all inquisitiveness to get into work-life and become independent like staying in a new city, away from home, and earning sufficient to sustain (As a friends says even after being into his own business for almost 3-4 years..."teen time dal-roti mil jata hain”: P)

All this feeling of independence lasts just for a couple of months...and then, one wonders...What next?

Had always heard that money is never a motivator and I too realised that by now... (As said by Bill gates- "Money is never a motivator in life, Say this only when you have earned enough). Nor because, I have earned enough, but because, I actually believe that there should be something else that would keep one going....and so, every morning I ask myself this question-“What next?” and I am still pondering for an answer.

What I can understand till now is-

"What everyone wants from life is continuous and genuine happiness", and one has to find a medium for it.

Happy Friendship Day :)

It is a gradual process. Starts with mere acquainatance with the other person, and before one can realise, they actually become friends.It is easy to make (not maintain)friends..Very easy, It is human tendency to look for companions and the fact that they are social animals makes it more imperative for them to have some people around who care for them, and are always around and overtime, they start sharing things with the other person that includes TRUST, understanding,intimacy, loyalty, and even misunderstanding....and then this is termed as "Friendship" But the degree of the these inputs might differ, and hence makes each of our friends unique.

I believe there are two ways to it-One is by default and other where you have put in genuine effort, and both, may go a long way. I call it by default because,being part of same school, college, office, etc, one ends up finding/picking some people, to can relate well, and become friends. Some would be with effort, where the frequency of meeting by default is lesser. And, it has to be mutual inclination in both the cases, else it does not go a long way.

But one thing which is a little to be worried about is the usage of the term-"Friendship". It is easy to use for any relationship under the sky. People generally use it for any relationship, even having met someone even for once, or may be, even when they are in love with the other person. In the latter case, it is still acceptable because I feel friendship is a precursor to any relationship. Be it daughter/mother, father/son or even two colleagues in office.

It is amazing feeling to know that you can count on some people at any hour of the day or night. But, it is a fact that the dynamics of this relationship changes overtime. I wonder if friendship is just about knowing a few people who would remember you when they need you, and be there with you, when you need them. Do they need to close to your day to day happenings in life, or even distances are fine?

But how long can distance keep that interest in friendship alive? Does friendship remain till one is a bachelor/spinster, because after that the respective priorities in life of a person changes, and leaves with him/her less time to care much about his friends, inspite of the desire to do so?

Why do girls relatively make better friends with guys rather than their own gender? Is it because of the logic that opposites attract? Then, y do guys get along with guys well, which is not the case with the fairer sex?

Wishing a wonderful Friendship Day to all my friends.

How Romantic !!

My latest addiction is:
A. R. Rahman's song from Delhi 6.

It goes like this:

rehna tu hai jaisa tu
thoda sa dard tu thoda sukun
rehna tu hai jaisa tu
dheema dheema jhonka ya phir junu
thoda sa resham tu humdum thoda sa khurdara
kabhi to ad jaye ya lad jaye ya khushboo se bhara
tujhe badalna na chahoon ratti bhar bhi sanam
bina sajawat milawat na zyada na hi kum
tujhe chahooon jaisa hain tu
mujhe teri barish main bhigna hai ghul jana hai
tujhe chahoon saahey
mujhe teri lapat main jalna rakh ho jana hai
tu zakhm de gar
marham bhi aake tu lagaye
zakhm pe bhi mujhko pyar aaye
dariya o mere yaar
doobne de mujhey dariya
rehna tu hai jisa tu
thoda sa dard tu thoda sukun
rehna tu hai jaisa tu
dheema dheema jhonka ya phir junu

haath thaam chalna ho
toh dono ke dayein haath sang kaise
haath thaam chalna ho
toh dono ke dayein haath sang kaise
ek dayain aage hoga ek bayain hoga
thaam le haath ye thaam le
chalna hai sang thaam le
rehna tu hai jisa tu
thoda sa dard tu thoda sukun
rehna tu… hai jaisa tu
dheema dheema jhonka ya phir junu
thoda sa resham tu humdum thoda sa khurdara
kabhi to ad jaye ya lad jaye ya khushboo se bhara
tujhe badalna na chahoon ratti bhar bhi sanam
bina sajawat milawat na zyada na hi kum
tujhe chahooon jaisa hain tu
mujhe teri barish main bhigna hai ghul jana hai
tujhe chahoon saahey
mujhe teri lapat main jalane rakh ho jana hai

People (in love or otherwise too) need not change themselves to please others, and this expression has been amazingly brought out in the song. It sends across the message that "STAY AS YOU ARE", and I am simply addicted to this song :)

Quote Unquote

I have always heard that-" A mother gives birth to a child." Had never given a thought to it until I read somewhere on my way home from office that-"A child gives birth to a mother."

Seems so true.

WR vs CR females

Local trains in Mumbai may be a pain to travel by, but, they give one an immense opportunity to carry on some activity during that long travel time….Before coming here, I had heard of some of the activities carried on by Women-cutting vegetables, making woolen sweaters, reading holy/story books, sleeping, etc. Though as per my experience, the last two seem to be the most common ones. And, ofcourse, how can I forget? Quarreling ……..for getting in, standing in a queue for the next/last station, and finally getting out.

I find it a pain to travel in locals, especially after shifting from the Western to the Central lines. I find the crowd in the latter case a lot more insensitive than the former one. Irrespective of whether a pregnant lady gets on to the trains or a small kid, they do not care to budge to enable people to get in/out comfortably. I have experiences of waiting for3-4 to trains to pass by, before I can find one where I do not have to hurt someone while finding my way in. Ofcourse, while getting down that option is not there. So, I have to remind myself every morning-“BE SELFISH IN LOCAL TRAINS”, and have even taught my friend the same thing.

There is a prominent difference in the level of sophistication, mannerism, dressing sense, hygiene, and willingness to help among females in WR and CR. WR females scores in most of the above parameters except the last one. Ask a 1st class compartment lady to make a place for the fourth lady or for helping you out to keep your bag on the shelf above, and notice the difference.

But one positive on WR ---females generally queued in front of the door a couple of stations beforehand, but, on central lines, right from CST, women would queue for GHATKOPAR AND EVEN THANE. (I am talking about the women compartments only and a mixed experience of 1st and 2nd class coaches). 90% of the overcrowding in trains on central lines is because of unnecessarily forming a queue even when they do not have to get down in the next 5-10 min. Inspite of being more crowded than central lines, western lines seem to be self-regulated by women commuters, which, surprising is not the case with Central lines.

What results in this stark difference in the attitude of women, inspite of being from the same city? Is it because of difference in level of sophistication, or is it something else?

(I chanced upon this link ...For more insights on WR and CR girls/women

http://www.thevoiceinmyhead.com/2007/02/01/western-railway-girls-make-better-nri-wives/)

Hello Mumbai!

I have always wondered what comes first-Destiny or Decisions??

Whether “Our destiny is shaped in the decisions we take” or “We take decisions because we are destined to be there”

Coming to Mumbai to start my work –life has been one such incident that has forced me to ponder over the above two phrases once again. Professionally, I feel that it has been one of the best decision of my life, but personally, it has been the most difficult decision till date. Leaving your family and coming to new city has to be a tough choice. I call it choice, because inspite of working in an Investment Bank, it was not by chance that I landed here. But, even after almost four months of stay here, I have not been able to figure out whether I am happy with this city or still like my City of Joy, Kolkata.

One of my friends, with prior experience of staying in the city had told me that Mumbai is a very fast city. One has to keep pace with it to keep going, else one would perish. I still wonder what he means by a fast city. He meant it in a being a party (social) animal. He seems to be hinting towards the three “W’s” (wine, Wealth and Women!)

Last day, I heard a conversation among two females while coming down from the elevator. One of these two females who seems to be new to the city was narrating her experience of staying here (which I seemed to have missed) to which the other remarked-“If you stay here for a couple of months, you would not wish to go back.”

Barely two months in the city, my friend remarked-“I am love with this city.”

Another friend, who has been staying here for almost a year, feels that it is the spirit of people in the city that makes it so different.

“How is life in Mumbai?” Is a very common question which I seem to answer almost every day. But, I answer it without even knowing what I feel, because I am yet to get an answer to this question. I, for sure, do not hate this place, for one very strong reason…”My amazing work life”, but not hating is not equivalent to liking, for me. At best, it would be Indifference.

Being born and brought up in Kolkata, it’s a home for me. Liking the city has been a natural choice. I have stayed in Bhubaneswar for two years during my masters, and its close proximity to my hometown, never ever had brought a thought in my mind as to whether I like the city or not, or what other feel about the city. And the two years had passed by. Given a choice, I am not sure, whether I would be inquisitive enough to go back to Bhubaneswar.

What is it that makes one fall in love for this city? Is it the lifestyle in the city or the people around? Is it one's ambitions for growing bigger in career (It is the financial hub, afterall!) that people fall in love with this city?