A DATE WITH SELF!

I thoroughly enjoyed a luxurious, five hours reading on a wet Sunday morning with a hot mug of coffee. Just finished reading the book “Married but Available” by Abhijit Bhaduri, the second book of M-B-A series.

It is a story of a Bengali guy who has just passed out from a business school, and narrates his life after his campus placement, and the challenges he faces in his personal and professional life. What I like most about the book is the “aam aadmi” lifestyle, it deals with. A family of four, with parents, and the two siblings including a young sister, and the son has to sustain his family, meets the challenges in his short married life and frustrations of the HR job early in his career.
Some ideas, pick-up lines, beliefs, and perspective brought out in the book and enumerated below gave me good material to ponder on.

• On a professional front, something which I have also realized in my six months old job- “Importance of designations". It is evident that designations have no standardization in the industry, and hence the conflict. It is the business card that becomes ones identity in a work-life. Personally, when I get a call from banks offering visiting cards, the first question that pops up-“Mam, what is your designation in the Company?” I merely end up saying-“I am just six months old here, and I seriously, do not need a credit card.” Apart from this, when I go for meeting with a Manager or a Vice-President, I find it fruitless to even share my visiting card. Not that I find myself any inferior to my boss, but, evidently, the receiver would not be acknowledge much. However, the book talks about the lead character, Abbey’s dilemma with his inferior designation compared to his working girl friend, and later his wife, and those of his other friends from the same business school, who have climbed to better designations. Quite mundane, but relevant.


• “Why are people paid so lowly at the start of their career, when, it is at this time that they need the money the most-to buy a car, a house, or sustain a family? Later in life, at the time of retirement, it is more of cholesterol monitoring that happens. Truly, life is unfair!


• Problems can never be solved. They can only be resolved, dissolved or absolved! I am still not clear with its meaning.


• Think yourself as actors in a play. Your lines are important, but what is more important is that the play is successful.


• Life a beach or a bitch? As a friend believes, we should not live our lives in extremes. Life is not mere black or white, it moves in shades of grey!


• The power equations keep changing. So, be nice to people on your way.


• Life has no time for sentiments. Atleast, holds for the work-life and to a certain extent in personal life too.


• “Nihil Ultra” or nothing is beyond. And, as Bhagwat Gita says-Do your best and do not worry about the results.


• Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.


• In India, there is a separate definition for friends and colleagues. Friends can be colleagues, but colleagues can never be friends?


• In Life, we try to change the course of the river, we are sailing with. The river will not change its course. We can only row the boat through our actions. Life will go on, we have to flow with it.


• Importance of being non-judgmental about people. And, I am seriously working on it.


• The hardest thing is to fear the changing nature of relationships. Barter should not become the nature of relationships. And egos should never come its way!


• If we cannot change a situation, it means that life is challenging you to change ourselves.


• To be free from all fears, attachments and insecurities is the best way to discover one’s soul. And to remain detached is the hardest thing to do.


• One’s career will have its share of disappointments. We should ask ourselves, what we are disappointed with. Are we disappointed with ourselves, our abilities or with others? And if the latter is the answer, it means that we are taking our business cards too seriously. If we want success, we should think about ourselves. If we want happiness, we should think about others.


• “What matters is not what we expected from life, but what life expected from you?”

It is the story about the guilt Abbey goes through when as a HR professional, he had to device a VRS policy for laying-off thousands of employees as a cost cutting measure, including himself. Is it equally painful to lay-off than been laid off? As Narayan Murthy rightly said: "Love your job but never fall in love with your Company. Who knows when the Company stops loving you".

Jao Na!

Really like this song: Particularly the voice.

jao na…
jao na…
jao na…
jao na…

tum jo ho toh gaa rahi hai yeh hawa
tum jo ho toh reshmi si hai fiza
jao na…
jao na…
jao na…
jao na…

tum jo ho toh gaa rahi hai yeh hawa
tum jo ho toh reshmi si hai fiza
jao na… jao na
jao na… jao na
jao na… jao na
jao na… jao na

phir na yeh raat aayegi
phir na yeh rut chhayegi
phir na yun milna hoga
phir na jaane kya hoga
jao na… jao na
jao na… jao na
jao na… jao na
jao na… jao na

yeh raat thodi toh dhalne do
dheere dheere isko pighalne do
aage hai do raah maanaa magar
thodi door toh saath chalne do

yeh raat thodi toh dhalne do
dheere dheere isko pighalne do
aage hai do raah maanaa magar
thodi door toh saath chalne do

khone wali ho kal tum
ruk sako jo do pal tum
kuch tumhari tasveerein
rakh loon apni aankhon mein…
jao na… jao na
jao na… jao na
jao na… jao na
jao na… jao na

A Perfect BAD WEEK!

I had some real bad experiences this week. Series of altercations with a series of people, and most of whom, either I cannot show my attitude, or cannot afford to, because of professional reasons. Infact, I did not want to even justify myself.

But, keeping oneself occupied is the only way one can avoid brooding over such pathetic experiences, which is exactly what I wish to do.

It is at these times, when this city seems really alien to me, and wish that I should not have been here.

Almost made a loss on the my derivative market transaction, when my expectation on the Nifty did not materialize. The contract would be squared off on 24th of the this month, and I still hope markets to come down, which seems unlikely.

However, I had always heard that "Men carry plenty of egos and are emotionless", and such series of incidents have substantiated it. Its just "I" factor that is important for them. Even, my dermatologist, who has been married for almost more than 7 years was saying so, as per her experience of being a married working lady.

And even my boss told me to be little less sensitive. I wonder I could have explained him the entire series of incidents. But, then, he is another man, afterall! In a way, it is good that I just smiled and left it there, rather than explaining anything.

Even now, when I am writing and thinking about the past week, I would be almost in tears. But, such reading such bad experiences once in a while make one happier in better times.

Hoping for a nice (occupied) week!

Doorian... by Mohit chauhan

Seems I am becoming a fan of Mohit Chauhan's voice. This is another of my recent favourite songs by him from the movie "Love Aaj Kal", which I have heard over nearly 10 times now :) (after coming from office)

Yeh Doorian Aaann….

Yeh Doorian Aaann….

Yeh Doorian

In Raho Ki Doorian Nigahon Ki Doorian

Humraho Ki Doorian Fanna Ho Sabhi Doorian

Kyun Koi Paas Hai, Door Hai

Kyun Koi Jaane Na , Koi Yahan Pe

Aa Raha Paas Ya Door Mein

Ja Raha Janoo Na Mein Hu Kahan Pe

Yeh Doorian

In Raho Ki Doorian Nigahon Ki Doorian

Humraho Ki Doorian Fanna Ho Sabhi Doorian

Yeh Doorian Yeh Doorian

Yeh Doorian Aa….

Kabhi Huwa Yeh Bhi, Khali Rahon Pe Bhi

Tu Tha Mere Saath ,

Kabhi Tujhe Milke, Lauta Mere Dil

Yeh Khali Khali Haath

Yeh Bhi Huwa Kabhi, Jaise Huwa Abhi

Tujko Sabhi Mein Paa Liya

Tera Mujhe

Kar Jathi Hai Doorian Satathi Hai Doorian

Tarsathi Hai Doorian Fanna Ho Sabhi Doorian

Kaha Bhi Na Mein Ne, Nahin Jeena Mein Ne

Tu Jo Na Mila

Tujhe Bhule Se Bhi, Bola Na Mein Yeh Bhi

Chahu Fasala

Bas Fasala Rahe Banke Kasak Jo Kahe

Ho Aur Chahat Yeh Jawan

Teri Meri

Mit Jani Hai Doorian Begani Hai Doorian

Haat Jani Hai Doorian Fanna Ho Sabhi Doorian

Kyun Koi Paas Hai, Door Hai

Kyun Koi Jaane Na , Koi Yahan Pe

Aa Raha Paas Ya Door Mein

Ja Raha Janoo Na Mein Hu Kahan Pe

Yeh Doorian

In Raho Ki Doorian Nigahon Ki Doorian

Humraho Ki Doorian Fanna Ho Sabhi Doorian

I did a small test (alternately listening to them on youtube) to find out which one of the two songs-from Kaminey and Love Aaj kal, I like more...And I liked both :) Difficult to choose the better of the two.And one of my tasks for the next week is to get/cmpile a CD with the collection of best of songs sung by Mohit Chauhan.

MY RECENT FAVOURITE SONG!

“Pehli baar mohabbat ki hai, Aakhiri baar mohabbat ki hai” sung by Mohit Chauhan from the movie "Kaminey" is my recent favourite. It becomes real tempting to hear the song as it proceeds with the short piano piece.
The lyrcis goes as:
Thode bheege bheege se thode nam hain hum
Kal se soye huwe bhi to kam hain hum
Dil ne kaise harkat ki hai
Pehli baar mohabbat ki hai
Aakhri baar mohabbat ki hai
Aankhein doobi doobi si surmayee madham
Jheelein paani paani hai, bas tum aur hum
Baat badi hairat ki hai
Pehli baar mohabbat ki hai
Aakhiri baar mohabbat ki hai
Khwaab ke bhoj se
Kap kapati huwi
Halki palke teri
yaad aata hai sab
tujhe gud gudana
satana
yunhin sotey huwe
gaal pey teepna..meechna..
bewajah besabab
Yaad hai
peepal ke jiske ghane saaye the
humnein gilhari ke jhhootey matar khaaye they
yeh barqat un hazrat ki hai
Pehli baar mohabbat ki hai
Aakhri baar mohabbat ki hai..

ASSET-BASED MAT-A BANE?

MAT (Minimum Alternate Tax) was introduced in 1983 because of the replication of the zero-tax paying company's strategy of the US in India. Plenty of Companies in the USA with huge pre-tax profits did not pay any tax at all! They used to declare huge dividends and escaped contributing to the fiscal income of the country. This seemed irrational, and hence various forms of MAT (AMT in USA) were introduced in various countries including India, USA, Mexico, etc, which was widely appreciated.

In India, the history of MAT from "deemed total income" to "deemed tax" to the current proposed "asset based" tax is as follows:

· Introduction of section 80VVA in 1983 which laid down certain restrictions on aggregate amount of deduction allowed from the total income and was applicable for AY 1984-85 to 1987-88.

· Then, section 115J was introduced on 1st April 1988 under which if the total income was less than 30% of the book profits, the total income charged to profits was 30% of the book profits. This was in operation for AY 1988-89 to 1990-91.

· In 1991-92, with a view to rationalize the tax structure, and discontinuance of Investment incentives, MAT was phased out.

· After 6 years, MAT was introduced in AY 1997-98 under section 115 JA.

· In the next year, in 1998-99, section 115 JAA was introduced to give effect to tax credit scheme by which tax paid under MAT was allowed to be carried forward for set-off against regular tax paid in subsequent 5 years.

· In 2000, another section 115 JB was introduced. Rather than computing "deemed total income", the focus was on introducing "deemed tax" for the computation of minimum deemed tax. The provision for credit under section 115 JJA was discontinued. MAT @ 7.5% of book profits was levied including surcharge.

· In 2005, Tax credit was again allowed under MAT.

· In 2006-07, MAT was increased from 7.5% to 10%, and the credit period increased from 5 years to 7 years.

· In 2007-08, this 11.33% tax was applied to IT companies which so far, have been exempt. Also, it was extended to some exempted export incomes.

· Finally, the MAT was increased from 10% to 15%.

With a view to rationalize the tax structure, the new tax code 2009, applicable from April 2011, brings out a radical change in the computation of MAT. It now would be 2% of the Gross Assets (Net Fixed Assets plus all assets excluding negative balance of P/L Account). The similar rates for banks would be .5%.

This seems to be completely absurd, and is bad news for the highly capital intensive companies like infrastructure or manufacturing and even IT companies. Recently, my VP had asked to study the impact of the new guidelines on one the projects we had appraised, and to my surprise, this MAT (terminology-wise) is no more "minimum". Infact, the normal corporate tax was much lower than MAT. Given, this new provision, the question of taking higher of the two, I presume, should not apply. But, the guidelines propose the higher of the two, which again defeats the original intent behind the introduction of MAT.

The Govt calls it a revenue neutral proposal, which, to my understanding is not so. MAT would force companies to pay tax inspite of their inability to pay! Since assets and ones profitability is de-linked, there could be a case where the Company is forced to pay huge MAT inspite of no/-ve pre-tax profits. Further, even the provision of phasing out of credit provision is being proposed in the bill. Thus, loss making infrastructure behind would be required to pay MAT, inspite of their inability. So, it would emerge as a huge bane. However, there seems to be little possibility of it going through.

WHAT IS LOVE?

The post cannot give a foolproof definition of "Love" but can offer a perspective on it.

Recently, I read this book-"Road Less Travelled" by M. Scott Peck and gathered different insights on the concept of love, traditional values and spiritual growth. I have coupled it with my understanding of the reading and for the purpose of the post have focused on aspects of love and spiritual growth only.

The definition of love (as per the web definition by goggling) is a strong positive emotion of regard and affection. But, this seems to be real generic definition. As per my understanding, the definition could be unique, and very specific to the individual. It is not definitely difficult to arrive at the consensus on the definition, nor is that required.

In order to explore more on a possible definition, the writer has asked some questions (including some of my thoughts) as-Can we love two people at a time? How long does the feeling of love remain? Why do people end up breaking-up after being committed to each other for some time? Does the feeling of love requires two people to stay together or is love all about separateness? Is love about sacrifice for the good of the other person? Is it essential to marry the person you love? and the list goes on.

M Scott defines love as "The will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth". Spiritual growth would mean reaching close to God..in simple terms as I understand it, it would mean becoming a better person.

So, love is not emotional attachment or dependency as per him but more of volition (a genuine will/cognitive process where one decides and commits to some course of action). For him, "commitment" is the most important thing for genuine love and not romantic love (which is mere expression of one's love for the other person, and may be, stems from physical needs). It is impossible to understand the other person without making room for the other person within ourselves, so, commitment is a pre-requisite for the same.

Also, falling is love is not an act of love, but temporary collapse of our egos to merge his/her identity with the other person, and its sudden release is the cause of all damage. When individual realize that each of the individual's have different likes, dislikes, desires, and they are not one individual, then it becomes difficult for them to accept the same, and may be, the cause of most break-ups.

I have always wondered that this feeling of love (as I hear it) should be a short-term process and must be lost after some point of time, and which may be, in author's language be the instance of realization by the individuals of their separate identity after they regain from the collapsed egos. But, the fact of the matter is that if two people like each other (not just as an emotional attachment), and see themselves as better person, then this phenomenon is no more a short-term process. As far as the dependency is less, it should not result in any complexities. And overtime, making love could be an act of expression of one's love. But, any relationship of love that is out of mere physical attraction is bound to suffer because making love is not an act of love but mere lust, as per the author.

Moreover, he also points out that marrying the person one loves is just a decision by the two of them and should not be an obligation. The two people who love each other might end up marrying because they see one's spiritual growth by being together. He talks of the concept of "open marriage" which I find difficult to accept and have not delved much into it. It is also more of a societal issue. The society we have, does not propagate such acts and our mind-sets are also similar.

Answering as to why people in genuine love do not wish being open with disclosing their feelings to the other person, he says, that we are all resistant to change. We all want "status quo" and are not willing to accept more responsibilities and hence do not want to be true to ourselves. But, he talks of the power of being true to oneself, and reading our mind, thoughts, feeling and ideas. In this context, he talks of the importance of dreams/unconscious self, which should be explored. We have 5% of the mind as the conscious self and the rest is the unconscious one, and hence, we should take out time to understand our unconscious self (dreams), give importance to any weird thought that come to our mind.

We can be psychotherapists to self provided we are willing to accept changes.